Hope you like the little clip of my visit to Scotland.
Wednesday, 7 March 2018
Friday, 2 March 2018
The Day the World Went Black.
"Daisy!
Daisy," he yelled up the stairs and heard something unintelligible being
mumbled from under a duvet, so he shouted again. "Did you put my keys
someplace?"
There
was a heavy sigh followed by the soft padding of naked feet on the landing. "Where
did you leave them?" she asked sleepily as she reached the top of the
stairs.
"If
I knew that, I wouldn't be looking for them, now would I?" he snapped. She
plodded down the stairs, her blond hair a messy cloud. She reached the bottom
step, paused, and lifted his keys out of the bowl with the tip of her finger.
He’d checked there; twice! She gave him a dirty look as he took the dangling
bunch.
"They
weren't there earlier," he said, embarrassed.
"Huff,"
she puffed, and turned her back on him before drifting back upstairs for her
second sleep. He stormed from the house, late for work and he knew the traffic
on the freeway would be terrible. That was a bad start to a day which got
steadily worse. It was a day crowned by actually losing his car. He searched
the multi-story car park for twenty minutes before finding the car five spaces
from the exit. He never parked in that part of the building! How could he
forget where he left his car?
When
he got home, he vented his frustration at Daisy, not that she listened. She'd
given up even pretend these days. It surprised him when she raised her head and
asked, "Why don't you get Dave to check you over?"
"I'm
not sick!" he snapped.
"I
didn't say you were but it's not like you to lose things. Can’t do any harm to
check," she said, then shrugged her shoulders and went back to eating. The
rest of the meal passed in sulky silence but he was sure of one thing, he
wasn't running to Dave about a set of lost keys.
Over
the next few days, there were more...slips. He filled out the home insurance
renewal, stuck it in an envelope for posting but when it arrived, they said it
was blank. After that, his presentation went wrong. He'd spent hours working on
a proposal for a new client but when he presented it, the slides were a mess.
Full of misspellings and errors, it looked like a five-year-old had done them.
There were other things but nothing as bad as the presentation. Normal stuff,
like being sure you put something one place and finding it somewhere else.
Small or big, these slips were starting to worry him and it was making him
cranky. Daisy and himself were constantly at each other's throats. It all came
to a head the day he arrived home to find Daisy and Dave waiting for him.
"What's
she been telling you?" he demanded before they had a chance to say
anything.
"Daisy
is worried, and from what she told me, she has a right to be," said Dave,
sitting forward on the couch, stabling his fingers like some dime-store headshrinker.
God damn Daisy for dragging Dave into this. She had no right, no right at all.
"It's
nothing. Have you never made a mistake?" he asked, his tone grumpy and
defensive.
"Of
course. Now and again, but Daisy told me these incidents are becoming more frequent
and then there's your behaviour to..."
"What
behaviour?"
"Aggressive,
depressive, irrational," he listed coldly, each word like a slap to Ben's
face.
"Jesus!
You're making me out to be a looney!"
"Easy,
Ben," he said, holding up his hands soothingly. Ben realised he had been
shouting and in doing so he confirmed at least two of his friend's accusations.
"Sorry,"
he said, and let out a deeply held breath. He rubbed his hands through his
thinning hair to steady himself. He knew his moods were swinging a bit but was
it any wonder? He put his briefcase on the coffee table and flopped down into an
armchair.
"All
I...we're asking, is that you come in and let me check you over."
"And
what will you be checking for?" Ben asked, sitting back in the chair.
"There
could be hundreds of reasons for your symptoms."
"Such
as?"
"Stress,
depression, exhaustion, hormone imbalance, the list is a long one."
"Alzheimer's?"
"You
would be abnormally young to develop Alzheimer's, but it's not
impossible," said Dave, clearly reluctant to discuss the subject.
"What
about brain tumours, or just going nuts?" said Ben angrily.
"Stop
being ridiculous," he snapped.
"I'm
not being ridiculous; I've been doing my own checking!"
"On
Google, I bet?" Ben said, clearly annoyed at the suggestion a computer
could know as much as he did. "Most often, the simple answer is the right
one. Why don't you take some time off work? Relax, take time to unwind? It's
not like you need the money." Dave was talking about Ben's inheritance. He
wasn't rich but two million dollars from a maiden aunt he had barely known was
better than a kick in the ass. The truth was he liked his work; it gives him a
purpose for his days. Being stuck in the house day in and day out would drive
him round the twist.
"I'll
think about it," he said, sounding less than enthusiastic.
Dave
stood up and gave him a steely look. "Think about it all you like but be
in my office at ten tomorrow morning. I'm charging you for the session whether
you show up or not."
"Alright,
you bully. Are you leaving?" he asked seeing Dave getting out his car
keys.
"You're
not my only patient you know," he said with a wink as he bent down to kiss
Daisy reassuringly on the cheek.
***
The
following day, Dave gave him a full service, bloods and everything, before
sending him back to work. Two days later Dave was on the phone at stupid O’clock
in the morning. Ben wasn't even out of bed when he answered the call. "Your
blood tests have come back. You need to come in to see me before work."
"That
doesn't sound good."
"There’s
nothing definite, but there are a few indicators...look, it would be better if
you came in."
"Don't
nanny me, just tell me what it is."
He
heard Dave exhale loudly. Eventually, he began speaking. "You have
unusually high levels of Adrenocorticotropic Hormone or ACTH."
"And
what's that in English?"
"It’s
a hormone produced in the Pituitary Gland, part of the brain."
"Jesus,"
said Ben, sitting up in the bed. Daisy rolled over to watch him talk.
"I
don't know what it is. It could be nothing but I’d feel better if you had a CT
scan."
"I
guess. If you think I should."
"I
do and I've pulled a few strings to get you in early next week."
"Is
it cancer?"
"It
most likely nothing. I'll email you the time for the scan. And Ben..."
"Yea."
"Don't
worry," he said, and was gone off the phone. Ben threw back the covers and
sat on the side of the bed. How could he not worry after a call like that? The
rest of the day was a blur. He couldn't help typing in, Pituitary Gland
Problems, into Google and it made for terrifying reading.
***
Between
that, and the day of the scan, he had a few more senior moments. People started
to comment on it at work. His moods got worse, and he made Daisy cry a few
times by being overly sharp.
When
he arrived at the hospital for the scan, he found Dave waiting for him.
"What
are you doing here?"
"What
kind of a friend would I be if I wasn't," he said, giving him a hug. Ben
felt a thousand times better having Dave by his side. The day was punctuated by
periods of waiting, in between efficient bursts of testing. At the end of it
all, Dave discussed the results with the consultant before coming to see
Ben.
"Good
news; there's no tumour, or cancer, but the area is inflamed. You’ll need to
take a course of medication to bring your hormones into balance and improve
your mental state."
"Mental
state?"
"You've
been exhibiting signs of depression, which is likely down to your hormone
imbalance. Antidepressants will help."
"I'm
not depressed."
"Your
brain is a complex system and it’s not running properly at the moment. You need
to take the medication if you want to get better."
Ben
didn't like the idea of being medicated, but he trusted Dave. "If you say it’s
for the best, it’s for the best." Dave wrote a prescription before he went
back to his practice. Ben left the hospital and filled the script on the way
home.
Over
the following weeks, Ben's condition got worse, not better. He felt strung out,
more confused than ever, and his temper was all but uncontrollable. He went
into melt-down-mode at the drop of a hat. In the end, he had no choice but to
go see Dave again.
"These
pills are doing nothing but making things worse," explained Ben after
telling Dave he was going to stop taking the medication.
"You
can't do that. You'll be taking a huge step back if you stop at this stage. It
could be just a bad reaction to this drug. I'm going to move you onto something
else. You should see a huge improvement."
Ben
filled out the new prescription and like Dave had predicted, things improved,
well they did up until the blackouts started. The first one was just a few lost
hours on a Saturday afternoon. Daisy had gone out shopping when he started
feeling funny. The next thing he remembered, he woke up on the couch and
the house looked like a tornado had hit it. He tried to straighten up before
Daisy got home but she knew something was wrong the minute she got back.
That
night the dreams started, the most horrific and vivid dreams he'd ever had. He
woke up crouched in the corner, beating himself around the head and screaming.
Daisy was right in front of him, in floods of tears, as she tried to calm him
down. There was a bruise on her cheek which was growing darker by the second.
He was still panicking when the paramedics arrived. They treated him for a
panic attack but made more than a few comments about Daisy’s injuries. They
wanted her to come in and have an x-ray but she refused. In the end they left,
but made them both promise to see a doctor in the morning.
***
Ben
got to Dave's practice first thing but had to cool his heels in the waiting
room until Dave's first patients had gone through. When a nurse finally showed
him into the examination room, Ben was shaking and as pale as a ghost. His head
was spinning and he could feel reality starting to slip.
"Crikey,
you look like hell," said Dave, easing Ben into a chair. He took a tumbler
from his desk and passed it to Ben. "Here, drink this."
"I
don't feel well. There is something really wrong with me,” he said, once he
finished glugging the water, not that water would help him. If anything, his
panic was getting worse. His chest raced, gulping air into his lungs. Dave just
looked at him, and Ben didn’t think he was taking him seriously. "You’ve
got to help me, you've just got to!" yelled Ben, dropping the glass as he
grabbed at Dave. He felt his feet go rubbery as his brain was hit by a vision
so harsh, it was like being kicked in the head. He staggered and felt Dave's
hands go under his armpits. That was when he blacked out.
As
he came around, he felt someone tugging at him. It took a second or two before
he recognised the tightness on his wrists as handcuffs.
“What
are you doing?” he mumbled but whoever was at him persisted. “I said, get off
me!” he snapped and tried to kick himself free, an act that earned him ten-thousand
volts from a cops tazer. As he shuddered on the ground, he saw Dave come in.
His face was bloody and he seemed dazed.
"Take
it easy with him," he said through a split lip. "It's not his fault,
he's a sick man, a very sick man." His friend's pleas fell on deaf ears as
Ben was hauled roughly to his feet, and frog-marched to a waiting state
cruiser.
What
happened next was all so muddled, it felt like it was happening to someone
else. The court appearance; being remanded to custody, then being sent to the
state-lockup. Some court-appointed lawyer had represented him, but he was so out
of it, he couldn't even remember the man’s name. When that same lawyer came to
see him in prison, he broke the news they were charging him with, assault with
intent.
"What
intent?" demanded Ben, "I can't even remember doing anything!"
That
started his, hand-me-down idiot, talking about a diminished
responsibility defence. Ben's next court date was set, but Daisy still
hadn’t been to see him. Perhaps the cops wouldn't let her come? A week after
he’d been locked up, Daisy finally arrived.
Ben
was shown into a visitor cubicle; Daisy was already seated on the other side of
the glass. He smiled at her but she just glared back at him. He picked up the
handset hanging to his left. Daisy paused for longer than he liked before doing
the same.
"It's
good to see you sweetie," he said.
"I
never thought I'd see you in a place like this," she said coldly.
"Me
either. I have no idea what happened, you got to believe me," he said,
desperately needing to hear some comforting words. Instead, she asked a
question.
"Are
you still having the blackouts?"
"Not
since that day. A few terrible dreams, or hallucinations, or whatever they are,
but even they are going now. I’m actually feeling a lot better."
"Are
you still taking your medication?"
"Yes.
I must be getting used to it."
"That's
good," she said, and looked down sadly.
"When
are you getting me out of here?" he asked, leaning forward and placing his
hand against the glass, as if he were trying to touch her face.
"That's
why I've come," she said, but her voice held no joy. "I don't want
you to come back to the house."
"I
told you, I'm getting better. I'd never hurt you, you know that, right?"
he said, trying to put every ounce of sincerity he possessed into his words.
"You
don't get it. I don't want you coming home...ever. You're not the man I married;
I don't know who you are."
"What
are you saying?" he demanded, his voice rising enough to make the guard at
the end of the room rise out of his chair.
"I
want a divorce; I've already started the application. The papers will be
served, any day," she said, and wiped away a tear.
"You
bitch!"
She
took the phone from her ear when he screamed it again, "Bitch!".
She
dropped the handset and rushed away as Ben attacked the glass, screaming and
hammering it with the heavy plastic handset. The truncheon blow caught him
below the ear and sent him sprawling sideways. Back to black again.
***
The
prison gate rattled back so slowly; Daisy felt they were doing it deliberately
to extend her torture. She just wanted it all to be over and get as far away
from this place as she could. She promised herself she wouldn't cry when she
told Ben, but she’d failed. He’d been her partner for so long, it felt like
he’d always been there; now that was over.
Outside
the gate, Dave was waiting to collect her in his sleek new Cadillac. He reached
over and popped the passenger door for her. Once she was in, he pulled away.
"How
did it go?"
"He
went crazy, started screaming and smashing the glass," she said sadly.
"To
be expected, I guess," Dave said matter-of-factly, as he maneuverer the
car out of the prison car park.
"I
still feel guilty about it all."
"You
shouldn't, it was the only way."
"To
get the money?"
"And
me!" said Dave, with a cheeky smile. "We won't have to sneak around anymore;
I can have you as much as I want now."
She
leaned across and kissed him deeply while he tried to keep one eye on the road.
Having him all the time was the only reason she had done any of it. Even on the
day of her wedding she knew she was marrying the wrong man. It always should
have been Dave.
It
had started by accident. A look, a touch, an unspoken desire, until the inevitable
happened. An intertwining of two, paired by destiny. Ben was all that stood in
their way. It was Dave that insisted she should have half the inheritance Ben
refused to touch; it was he who masterminded the plot but it was she who had
made it happen.
She
was the one who’d hidden Ben's keys and then moved his car with the spare set.
It was she who had replaced the insurance forms with blank ones, then sent them
in. It was she who messed up his presentation in the middle of the night. She
had done all that, but Dave had a hand in things as well.
He’d
given her pills to exchange for Ben's prescription. He’d given her the liquid
LSD to slip into his drinks, and told her how much to give. The time she gave Ben
too much and he started fitting in their bedroom, she nearly called it all off.
Instead, she rang Dave and he rushed over. He was terrified that Ben would OD,
and the drugs in his system might be traced back to them. She pleaded with him
to call an ambulance, demanded he come clean. He lashed out at her, catching
her on the cheek with the back of his hand. He said it was an accident; the pressure
just got to him. He gave Ben an injection of something, and soon, he stopped
shaking. Only when it was clear that Ben would be ok would he allow her to ring
for help. When she thought back on that night, she couldn’t help remembering
the look in his eye after he’d hit her. There was cruelty there.
She
could have stopped it then, she should have stopped it, but she didn’t. She’d
given Ben a half dose of LSD before he went to see Dave at his office, just
enough to make him off balance for the final act. She was right there, hiding
in the closet when Ben came in. She overheard them talking and knew Dave had
given Ben another dose of LSD, a big one. When Ben was out, Dave called her out
and said she had to hit him. She didn’t want to, but he said it had to look
real. Before she swung, he stopped her and said, "Not the nose." She
balled her fist and let one fly, barely touching him at all. Then she
remembered the look in his eye when he’d slapped her and put a measure of
intention behind her fist.
"Enough!"
he said, after taking a couple of hits, and he pushed her away. He pinched his
burst lip, drawing blood, which he smeared over Ben's hands and shirt. Daisy
slipped out the back door as Dave got Ben to his feet, then he stumbled into
the waiting area where a shocked receptionist called the police. After that, it
was plain-sailing.
The
divorce would go through and she stood to gain one point six million. Dave had
his eye on a love-nest on the coast. He said he would put the deal in his name,
it was much easier than joint ownership. Now that they had the money, they
could live like they always wanted to.
Dave
flashed her one of his devilish smiles. "Only we matter now," he said,
and went back to watching the traffic. Daisy noticed the way one corner of his
mouth curled up. Light danced in his eyes and she knew she’d seen that look before.
It was the moment his hand connected with her face.
She
felt a shiver run down her back, but she shook it off. Nothing was going to
wreck this for her. Nothing.
The End