When
I was six and a half, we moved to Connemara. For those of you that don't
know Ireland well, this is the most westerly scrap of land in a part of Ireland
called Connaught. It was said, the next stop on any journey through
Connemara was America. It’s a wild and windswept place, fantastic cliffs and
bays, cut by the constant pounding of Atlantic waves.
It
may be pretty but you can't eat a nice view. The grey, limestone-bedrock lies
under the thin skin of this county, like the ribs of a starving dog. So poor is
the soil here that when the English's invaded, they occupied everything east of
the River Shannon, while famously telling the displaced Irish rabble, "To
Connaught or Hell".
Surviving
on this barren headland was no easy task hundreds of years ago. The hardy men
of the west managed as well they could. They fished from boats made of cow
hide, sealed with tar. They gathered seaweed to spread on the meagre soil,
fertilising it. Back breaking work done with a donkey if you were rich, or by
hand if you were not. Many a back was flayed in this endeavour, rope cutting
into flesh, dripping sea water and blood.
Galway
is the main city in this area and is rightly called, "The city of the
Tribes". People from all over Ireland flowed across the River Shannon, to
make a new life. With no food, little work, or prospect of survival, mass
emigration was the only choice. Coffin ships left port constantly. Tightly
packed with eager but starving people, on this side of the ocean. Arriving near
empty in the new world, leaving a trail of floating corpses in its wake.
Millions fled in a time where journeys were measured in weeks and months. Such
migrations are beyond our imagining today.
My
family's move to the west took place late in the 1970's. The country was in
recession and we had to follow the work where Dad could get it. He had
finished his apprenticeship in Cork and worked for a number of years in the
Ford Factory, before he was laid off.
"Sorry
Tony," the foreman said. " Just the way things go."
Like
that our little family was on its uppers. By now, Tony and Nancy had another
boy and a little girl. I was the big brother and had to look out for them. I
might not have under stood everything that was going on but I knew that
something was wrong. I heard Mam crying in the night and thought she was having
scary dreams. They were cross with each other sometimes, and Dad came home all
wobbly and smelling funny once or twice.
In
the end, we were all loaded into a beat-up Morris Minor, and followed the
promise of a job in Galway city. The only down side to moving in my mind, was
that I had to leave my school in Cork. Telling the truth, I didn't care one bit
for the school, but Miss O'Brien was another matter. She was so tall and nice.
She was always smiling and we played fun games every day. Even the lessons were
fun. I think she liked me best, because she always put her hand on my shoulder
when she taught me my ABC's. When mom said we were leaving, it broke my heart.
I was inconsolable. I cried like I’d never cried before, or since. No matter
what she told me, I knew I would never find another teacher like her.
I
sulked while we loaded the car, and cried as we pulled away from our old house,
but soon enough the excitement of the journey won through the tears. When we
arrived in Galway, Mom shook me awake too look at the lights as they twinkled
off the water in the bay. The big white truck with all our things in it, was
behind us all the way from Cork. I thought truck drivers must be so clever to
know exactly where we were going. I thought I might even be one, when I grew
up.
The
first days in Galway were a whizz of new places, new people, new everything. My
brain wasn’t big enough to take it all in. We stayed with Aunt Molly, one of
Dad's aunties. Dad said she was his auntie and that made her my auntie as well.
I didn’t like her so much; she smoked all the time and spit in the fire. The
house was small, so we all slept in one room. I couldn't figure out why we left
Cork, there we had three rooms, grown-ups are silly sometimes. In the end, I didn't
mind, because it was a great adventure. One morning, my dad started his new
job, in the timber yard. He didn't go every day, but some days. It wasn’t long
before it was time to move again. This time, we only went a few miles, out into
the country to our very first house.
The
first day Dad took us to see the new house, I thought we were lost because he
took us down a tiny road with grass growing in the middle. There was only
fields and hedges for miles, and from the back window you could see the ocean
away in the distance. The grass around the house was so high, it was over my
head. There was no running water, or bathroom, so we did our pee-pee in the
field, out back. In the middle of the house was a big kitchen. Off each side of
that, was a bedroom. Along with the house we had a few acres of land. I thought
we were big farmers, but Dad said the only thing you would grow in those fields
were rocks.
What
I remember most about the first house, was how cold it was. Outside, it was a
lovely sunny day, but inside it was so cold, the goose pimples came up on my
arms. Another thing I remember was my sister, Katie, she wasn't happy at all.
She cried so hard the first time she went into the house, my ears hurt. In the
end, Mam took her outside where she stopped bawling, after a bit.
Moving
day came, and the truck man that knew everything, came back. We loaded the
house things from Cork, back into the truck. I thought we were like the snails
in the garden, dragging our house around behind us. I thought we should live in
the truck, and save all the moving. Dad said, I was a clever-clogs. I don't
know what clogs are, but clever was good, so I smiled when he said it. Soon, we
had all the boxes piled up in middle of the kitchen floor, of the new house. We
were all tired after unloading the truck. Mam lit a fire in the range, and made
bean's on toast, with the red sauce. Then Dad pulled the big double mattress in
front of the fire, and we all slept there for the night, like camping. It was
the best night ever. I didn't even mind the funny smell that came in the middle
of the night.
One
thing about Galway people, is they're very friendly. Soon, every neighbour for
miles had come to say, welcome. They brought gifts, mostly cakes, breads
and jams, made in their own kitchens. Eggs and milk, came from sheds, not the
shop. Water was gathered in a tank from the roof. We never had this many people
visit us in Cork.
A
few weeks after we moved in, Mam had us working on the grass in the front
garden. She was cutting it down with a thing called a slash hook. We all had to
stand well back when she was swinging it. My job was to gather the cut grass
into piles. One minute we were all alone, the next, an old man was leaning over
the stone wall looking at us.
My
Mam got a big fright, and said a bad word. I went over and stood beside her.
When Dad wasn’t home, I was the man of the house. He said and had to look after
Mam and the kids. So, I was watching this fella to see if he was a bad one, or
not.
"Good
day Missus" he said, doffing his dirty flat cap.
"Hello"
said Mam, still red in the face. "You put the heart cross-ways in
me."
"Sorry
about that, I didn't know anyone had moved in," he said. "How is the
old place for yea?"
"Hard
work," Mam said, rubbing the sweat from her forehead. "I'm sure it
will be fine in the end.".
He
looked down at me, and said. "Who is this fine young man?" I think he
knew I was keeping an eye on him. Mam rubbed my head, even though she knows I
don't like it, she's always doing it!
"This
is Squid. That’s Stephen and Kate over there, and my name is Nancy
McFinnigan," she said, holding out her hand to the old man. When they
shook, I saw his skin was dirty, with big cracks and ugly nails. I was a bit
nervous because, only bad ones had such ugly hands.
"Squid
is it?" he chuckled. "That's a quare name for a young-fella." He
dipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a roll of sweets. He broke them
in half, and offered some to me. I didn't know what to do so, I held on to
Mam's leg, even though I knew, I was the one that should have been looking
after her.
"It's
okay," she said. "They're Silvermints."
I
held out my hand, and took the half packet of sweets. They looked like white
bits of chalk, but bigger. When I sucked one, they made my mouth tingle and
tasted oh so good.
"So,
what’s your name?" Mam asked.
The
man said, "Willy Barrett, Missus. From the next parish over, but I’ve a
few fields down this way." I made my mind up then and there, Willy Barrett
must be one of the good ones, because only good ones would have Silvermints. I
left them talking, and went to share the sweets with Stephen and Kate.
"Squid!!
don't give Kate any, she is too small," Mam shouted, when she saw what I
was doing.
I
didn't listen to much of what Mam and Willy Barrett were talking about, but I
did hear him say, "This old place has been empty a long time. People come
and go from it. Don't remember anyone staying too long." Soon he was on
his way down the road. I hoped he would come again and bring more Silvermints.
We
didn't sleep in the kitchen any more, like we had that first night. Mam, Dad
and Kate, slept in one room, me and Stephen, had bunk beds, in the other room.
Because I was the oldest, I got the top one. Kate still didn't like the new
house, and sometimes cried in the night. She said she didn't like the old man,
he was ugly. Mam said it was only bad dreams. I knew she was wrong, because
sometime Kate cried in the day as well, and you can't have bad dreams in the daytime.
The funny smell that had come the first night, came back sometimes. Now, even
Mam could smell it. She pulled the kitchen apart looking for what was causing
it, but she never found it.
One
night, she was sitting in the kitchen plucking the feathers off an old hen that
she had killed for dinner, when the smell came. Dad was home.
"There
it is now," she said, sniffing the air. Dad took big sniffs as well, so
did I, but only for show, because knew the smell already. It was like turf fire
and hedges.
"That
is strange," said Dad, at last. "It's pipe tobacco." The smell
would stay a while, and then just go again. It happened so often while we lived
there, that Mam would say, "He's here again." Like there was someone
at the door. I don't think Mam or Dad ever minded the smelly pipe smell, but
Kate hated it, and was never happy in the new house.
Later
in the year, the winter was coming, and we were on our holidays from school. It
was Halloween time, so we were getting dressed up to go to the neighbour’s
house; trick or treating. There was only one neighbour, but we were excited
anyway. Stephen was dressed in an old jacket, wellies, and had a fork. He was
going to be Willy Barrett. Since the day Willy scared my Mam, we became great
friends. He always had Silvermints for me, and I would help him working in his
field, or feeding the calf's when they were born. Tonight, I was going to be a
fisher man. I was dressed in all my Dads fishing clothes, but Mom took the
hooks off before she let me put them on. That was a pity, how can you be a
fisherman with no hooks to feed the fish?
She
had me standing on the table, rolling up my pants, so my feet would stick out
bottom. I was looking out the window, across the field at the back of the
house. I couldn't see the ocean today; it was very strange weather. The ground
was covered in thick white clouds, so you couldn't see your feet. Mom said it
was a sea mist, rolling in from the ocean. The evening was still, and the mist
was sitting low on the ground. The cows in the field looked funny, they looked
like they had no legs, and were floating on the mist. Every now and again, they
ducked their heads into it, and when they came back up again, they were
munching on grass.
I
was watching the cows, when the scariest thing ever happened. A huge bang! The
back door flew open, slamming into the wall a few times. Cupboard doors flew
open and banged. A glass smashed on the ground, all the pictures on the wall
flapped and clattered. Then the front door flew open, and all the noise
stopped.
I
had let out a big scream, but so had everyone else. Katie and Stephen were
crying, I didn't, but I was scared…lots. Mam got an even bigger fright than the
day Willy Barrett looked over the wall, she was shaking all over. Things had
fallen out of the presses and all the pictures were facing the walls. Mam
cuddled us all at the same time and said, "Sush, it's okay, lads. Sush, it’s
only a bit of wind."
When
I was a little less scared, I went and looked out the window. When I did, I
knew that Mam was wrong. The cows were all still floating on the clouds
outside. The wind should have made a mess if it had been blowing.
After
that day, things were never as good in the new house. Kate saw the old man more
and more. She had lots of scary dreams, in the day, and the night. One of our
cows was hit with lightening, right in the field where it stood. Dad lost the
job at the timber yard, and even the car stopped working. In the end, we had to
sell the house and move back to Galway.
The
truck came again, and again, we loaded all our things. We had no car this time,
so a friend of Dads, came to give us a lift back into Galway. I looking back at
the house as we drove away. Just before we got out of sight, the curtain on the
kitchen window billowed as if the wind caught it. A dark shape inside the house
was watching us go. It made my tummy jump and feel sick. I looked away as quick
as I could and decided not to tell anyone about what I had seen. Let me tell
you, I was very glad we weren't going to live in the smelly house any more.
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