Saturday 30 December 2017

The List 2018



I was blown away to see that Honeysuckle Lane has made it onto The List, by CQ Magazine. Some amazing books on here and of the ones I have not read I will be getting around to soon. Talk about chuffed to bits. Something for everyone on here so let your friends know.

Thursday 14 December 2017

Smashing


The bottle twisted as it flew through the air. Everything moved in slow-motion. Lacy could see the lights dance across its surface, her brain had time to register the brand, and she even noticed there was still beer inside. Despite all these things, she couldn’t make her body move to one side, or put up a hand to deflect it, or anything to stop serious injury from coming her way. When the bottle was only inches from her face, a hand appeared and snatched it from the air. She didn’t understand what had happened, which is why her mouth hung open like a dullard. 

His smile was magical. His eyes were crystal blue and filled with fun. He looked up at the balcony where a drunk girl stared down. He tilted the bottle in his hand slightly, asking the question, are you going to say something? The drunk girl waved and vanished. The man placed the bottle on a table as Lacy tried to make the words, Thank You, come out. He just winked and walked away.
               
As he vanished, Lacy turned to her friend, Tracy, and said, “OMG did you see him!”
              
"He like, TOTALLY, saved your life!” she said, squealing and yelling over the music in in the club. 

“You should so go after him!”

“You think?”

“Totally!”

“I don’t even know his name. I can’t,” Lacy said, hiding her blushing face in her hands but she really wanted to. She would have, if she could see, him but the club was too packed. God, she had butterflies in her stomach and her heart was racing. He hadn’t even said a word and he had her melting. She’d never felt anything like it before and she was sure she never would again.

“You’re so prissy, if you don’t want him, I’ll have him,” said Tracy, pretending to go after the man. Lacy grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“Don’t you dare,” she cried, dragging her friend away to get a drink at the bar.

***

All week, that guy was in her thoughts. The way he smiled, his eyes, the air of adventure that surrounded him, the way he saved her. Every day the feeling grew stronger. One day, she munched dreamily at her lunch and thought of him…of them. Her phone rang and she had to rummage through the junk in her bag to find the damn thing, and when she did, it was only Jason.

“Hi,” she said, not excited, not annoyed. After all, they were dating, of sorts.

"Hi, baby. How’s your day going?” He sounded bubbly, like a puppy ready to jump up and lick her.

“Same old same old. What about you?”

As he yammered on about some boring work stuff, she let her mind wander. She rested her chin in her hand and drifted. At first, she thought she was dreaming him, but there he was, walking down far side of the road. Her savour, carrying four Starbuck’s coffees in those paper containers they give out.

"Jason, I got to run, call you later,” she said cutting cross him mid-sentence and hanging up. She quickly gathered up her belongings and dashed out into the street before she had a chance to change her mind. She had to wait for a break in the traffic to cross the road, and by the time she had, she saw her dream man climb into a silver Audi and pull away.

“Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it,” she said, stamping her feet and spinning on the spot. She had to get to know him. Then it hit her. Starbucks! She turned and dashed down the street to that familiar white and green circle floating above the shop on the corner. She ran inside, and thank God, it was nearly empty.

“Hi. What can I get you?” asked the girl behind the counter.

“This is weird, but a guy just left here. A tall guy, floppy hair, blue eyes, really well dressed. Did you see him?”

“Yea, I think I know who you mean,” said the girl stroking her chin. Lacy didn’t think this chick was the sharpest tool in the box.

“Can you tell me his name?” asked Lacy, feeling she was on the verge of a life-changing event.

“Bob,” the clerk said. 

Shit. Bob! Not at all what she had in mind.

“Or it might be John, or Simon, or Ethan. He always gets four coffees and those are the names. I think he works in a law office on the far side of town.”

“Do you know where it is?” Lacy asked.

“Look, lady, they just come and order coffee. Do you want something or not?” asked the girl, clearly losing interest in this game.

“No, thanks,” she said, and left the shop. She had a lead on him, of sorts. As the door closed behind her, her phone rang, again, and it was Jason, again. God, what did he want now?

“Hello,” she said and rolled her eyes as she walked away.

***

Over the next week, Lacy spent every lunchtime sitting in Starbucks, waiting for Bob, John, Simon, or Ethan to arrive. On Friday he did. Her heart jumped into her mouth as he opened the door and looked directly at her. She smiled and he walked toward, but then continued past to the counter. She followed and stood behind him while he placed his order. When he was done, she tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hello?” he said, clearly, he had no idea who she was.

“Do you remember me?” she asked.

“You might have to give me a hint,” he said, but flashed her a dazzling smile with an accompanying wink. He was flirting with her.

“You saved me from a bottle, in the club, the other night,” she said, tilting her head back and giving her hair a flick.

“That was you?”

“Yep. I wanted to say thanks,” she said holding out her hand and he took it in his. It was a big hand, but soft. He rolled her fingers in his, as if massaging her, and it was an incredibly intimate feeling.

“I’m Lacy,” she said.

“Ethan,” he said.

“I knew you would be,” she said, before she could stop herself.

“Sorry?”

“Nothing. Its… Well… nothing,” she said, getting tongue-tied. Behind them, the girl landed a tray-load of coffees on the counter.

“That will be twelve ninety,” the girl said and Ethan flipped her a credit card, which she tapped against the machine. Lacy could see her chance to make an impression drawing quickly to a close, so she panicked.

"Do you want to come to a party?” she asked, and was amazed to hear the words come out of her mouth because she had no party to invite him too.

"Sure, when?” he said, surprising her.

“Give me your number and I'll text you the details,” she said. He called out his number and she typed it into her phone. On the way out the door, he stopped and turned.

“Can I bring some friends?”

"The more the merrier,” she said, getting herself deeper into the lie. As soon as he was out the door, she was on the phone to Tracy.

"Tracy, we have to have a party, tomorrow!” she yelled. The girl behind the counter to glared across at her. The squeals of delight on the end of the line were all the encouragement she needed. This plan was going to work.

The following day was a whirlwind of preparation. Lacy all but emptied her bank account buying drink, food, and decorations. It was her first party and she was determined to make it one to remember. She called friends and extended invitations. When anyone asked the reason for the get-together, she said, for the crack. At six, she was stringing fairy lights around the sitting room when someone knocked on the door. Tracy answered it and when she came back in, Jason was right behind her. Tracy gave a lip-biting grimace at the awkward situation that was about to unfold.

"Hi, Lace. What's all the lights for?

"Jason... I meant to give you a call. You see…there is a bit of a thing happening tonight."

"Cool, a party."

"It's not a party."

"Oh?" he said, clearly not believing her.

"Just the girls coming around for a few drinks."

"Sounds great," he said, not giving up. This guy was alike a terrier with a bone.

"Only the girls," she said, feeling a little like a bitch, but only a little.

"Oh. I see," he said, rejection written all over his face. "I better leave you to it, so," he said, walking toward the door. At the door, he said, "Enjoy the night. I'll call you tomorrow," like a kicked puppy, which made her feel like a complete bitch.

"Ok," was all she said.

When he was gone Tracy turned to her and said, "Well, that was crushing."

"And what was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know, but I don't think you should keep stringing him along like this."

"I'm not stringing him along. We're not exclusive or anything."

"Whatever, girl. Just saying," said Tracy, tottering away with more beer to squeeze into the fridge.

***

The party had been going for two hours, and the flat was full of people, but no sign of Ethan. Lacy was wearing her slinkiest outfit; the one with the slit up to the hip, and everyone said how hot she looked, but she was miserable. Every time the doorbell rang, she rushed to answer it, but it was never him. When she given up hope, he arrived. She pulled the door open and his blue eyes made her knees go weak.

"Sorry we're late," he said, and Lacy noticed the three other people standing behind him. Two were stunning looking girls and Lacy wanted to murder the two of them.

"No problem, it's only starting," she said standing to one side. She watched with horror as Ethan placed a hand low on one of the girl’s back, to guide her in. It was like being stabbed in the heart. As he disappeared into the flat, she stood rooted to the spot. She couldn't make herself let go of the door.

Tracy appeared beside her and asked, "Are you ok?"

"No, I'm not. Nothing’s ok," she said, and slammed the door. For the rest of the night, she stayed in the kitchen swilling wine. Ethan appeared a few times, and glanced in her direction, but his lady was never far away. By the time the party was winding up, Lacy was plastered. Ethan appeared and said, "We're heading. Thanks so much, for the invite."

"No problem. I'll let you out," she slurred, walking to the front door and opening it for them. Ethan's friends left, but he lingered.

"Sorry we didn't get to talk more. I really wanted to," he said.

"Yea, whatever," she said, and watched him take a step outside, but he paused again, then leaned into her ear.

"Meet me tomorrow," he whispered, his warm breath playing across her ear.

"What about your girlfriend?"

"Don't mind her. Come on, meet me tomorrow."

Inside, her heart lept in her chest, and before she knew what she was doing, she’d agreed. With a wink, he was gone. So was her bad mood, her drunken state and every dire thought she had entertained during the night. He wanted her, he really wanted her. 

***

The morning came, but not half fast enough and eventually she did meet him. They sat and shared drink after drink, while he explained how much of a cow his girlfriend was. Afternoon turned to evening, and before that turned into night, they found themselves in bed. Lacy gave Ethan every inch of her body and would have done so twice if she could. It was magical. The only distraction was her phone and the incessant beeping, each one another message from Jason. She had no intention of answering any of them. Ethan was the man for her, filling her mind and her body in all the ways that counted.

The days passed and Ethan was a constant presence. He whispered everything she ever wanted to hear, he fulfilled every desire she ever held, he was the man she always wanted to have. Nothing would be the same again. A week turned into two, and lust turned into love, but things don't always go to plan. 

Meetings had to be cancelled, outings abandoned, and long leisurely nights in bed cut short by his work commitments. True to his word, Ethan did abandon his girlfriend, but still he was always rushing off at a minute’s notice. Lacy was beginning to spend as much time alone as she did with him.

Weeks turned into months, and Lacy started to realise that something was wrong. Ethan never took her to his place; he never introduced her to his friends, the only time they spent together was in bed. She got used to the calls cancelling dates and nights out. She got used to the excuses as he left her bed, his sweat still moist on her body. Although she refused to admit it, in her heart, she knew he was leaving her. She nearly never saw Tracy anymore, or any of her girlfriends, Ethan didn’t like them. She was alone, and drifting further from the rest of the world by the day.

One night, she was sitting in the club, in the same spot Ethan had saved her, waiting for him to arrive, but she knew he wasn’t coming. The call had not come, but still she knew. He was somewhere else, with someone else, doing what she wished he was doing with her.

Across the room she saw a figure standing at the bar. It was Jason. He was smiling and laughing with a group of friends. She watched him and he seemed to be bigger than she remembered, taller, or perhaps it was just the way he was carrying himself. He nearly looked like a different person. She picked up her drink and walked across to him, to spend a few minutes catching up, to share a few moments.

As she neared, he saw her. His face flickered and she saw the hint of dread in his eyes. Jesus, you would swear she were a monster or something. He held up his hand, as if warding her off, and started to put down his bottle. His eyes held a lifetime of hurt, a sea of anguish, and a universe of pain: and she knew all of that was her fault. He turned from her and walked away, abandoning her as she had abandoned him. The bottle teetered on the edge of the counter before falling outward; twisting in mid-air, reflecting the light of the club off its surface before smashing on the ground, smashing like all her dreams had been smashed. Smashed at the hands of Ethan, and more disastrously, smashed by herself.