Right so, here we go.
A number of years ago, an elderly parish priest needed a few odd jobs doing. He placed an add in a local paper and hired a strapping figure of a young man. While being very talented with his hands, he wasn't exactly the sharpest pencil in the school bag, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, about a week after the lad started, he arrived into the vestry in an awful state.
"Whats the matter?" the priest asked.
"You wont believe it but someone's gone and stolen my bicycle!"
"Ah lad, are you sure,"
"Of course I'm sure how else did I get to work this morning. I've just gone out to where I leave the bike every day and guess what?"
"What?" asked the priest.
"No bike." (I warned you he was a bit thick)
But the priest had a plan, he told the young lad to come along to Mass on Sunday where he'd give a sermon on the ten commandments. He told the boy to stare at the congregation fiercely when he got to 'Thou shalt not steal', and whoever wouldn't look back at him was the one who took the bike."
"Mighty idea Father," he said and walked away home happy in the knowledge the bike was as good as found.
On Sunday the young lad sat along side the Priest, just below the alter, as mass was said. True to his word the priest gave a fire and brimstone sermon on the pearls of breaking the ten commandments. Half way through the sermon, the young man, sprang to his feet and dashed down church, straight out the door, not returning for the rest of the day.
"I see you found out who took your bike."
"Not really Father," said the red faced lad.
"What happened so, where did the bike come from?"
The lad shuffled his feet and said, "In the sermon, when to got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery', I remembered where I'd left it."
There followed a record number of Hail Mary's
Happy weekend everyone.