Thursday, 31 March 2016


I'm being crushed! It feels like a huge hand trying to squeeze the life out of me, and succeeding. Everything is dark, I can hear the blood racing through my ears as my heart thunders and battles. I knew this day was coming, I've always know, but can't explain how I knew, instinct I guess, but now the moment is here, I'm terrified.

I'm being pushed by an unstoppable force, or is it being pulled. I can't tell, all I know is I want it to stop right now. None of this is good, none of this is right.


In the darkness I feel sick, the pounding of my heart is a blur, blending with the muffled noise all around. I may be blind, but I can hear just fine. I feel a jolt and something changes, I can feel hands on me everywhere. They are like spiders running over my naked skin, probing, pulling, pushing, prodding.   Another jolt, and the huge squeezing hand slips from me. I can feel the cold on my skin, attacking me like a thousand shards of ice. I feel slick, water running off of me in all directions, slick and cold. Another jolt, and this one stings like a mother-fucker. I let out a shout but it sounds more like a squeal to my tortured ears, and then blessedly the jolts stop.

I'm so tired, bone tired,the kind there is no escaping from. I can feel it washing over me now, there is no fight left in me and I surrender to the darkness, drifting away from it all.

When I open my eyes, the world is blurry and bright. Shapes move in, shapes move out, I am sore all over. I try to move and feel a hand rest on my head. In the distance I hear her voice and inside my addled mind I try and put the words together.

"Mr Riley. Heart attack. Everything is going to be alright."

The light in my eyes grows brighter as the epiphany takes hold. I've been given a second chance, a re-birth, and this time I'm going to make every second count.

No comments: